the·o·ry

There he is!

What’s that?

Oh, it’s just something he does, hiding from me fortnightly. Yep… every two weeks he’s blending in with the furniture, camouflaging himself out back or masked inside somewhere he ought not to be.

Why?

It’s his idea, thinking it will bring us closer together.

Do I enjoy it?

Nope, on edge twice a month until he’s spotted. I postulate that I’m going nuts.

“My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.” ~ Steven Wright

Thoughts, Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022

Part I Summary: Going to the doctor…

Everyone says, just go. Just go. Just go, Kim. It can’t kill you.

I says… Yes, it can.

Part 2 Begins now…

Once upon a time, I went to a dentist in Chicago.

Later that week, someone died, in the same office, with the same doctor, and in the exact same chair – I had JUST fiddled in!

I was so happy to cancel my next appointment scheduled 6 months out.

I always feel like it’s taken personally when I don’t reschedule, and I don’t want to be rude or be sweet-talked into keeping the appointment, so I lie. I fib. But only because they never take ‘no’ for an answer. I could say that I no longer have teeth or gums, but they’d still find a way to have me come in. They’ll stop at nothing using every angle. Even my social life is up for grabs. “Let’s just get this scheduled, ok? No biggie. And hey, why not make a lunch date afterward at the cafe around the corner with friends you’ve been avoiding? How about next Tuesday at 11am and then lunch at 12? Want us to arrange the lunch? Inside or out?”

And so when I called to cancel my dentist appointment, I fibbed this time, too. I could have said, “It could kill me,” but I’m nice. Instead, I said, “I’ll be out of town, so, unfortunately, no. Ok, so, bye.”

But they halted the hangup, they asked about rescheduling – possibly for a month out, and I said, “Nope … still out of town.”

Then they asked about the following, next month.

Well, I wasn’t going to fake traveling around the world, so I froze… and told the truth.

I said, “Listen, I still want to be alive then, too. I’ll call back if that changes.” I was serious.

To be continued… maybe.