The great egret of my life, you ask? Not knowin’ I was a swan the whole time, I suppose.

For some reason, my pure-white plumage, long flexible neck, and every time I passed by a full-length mirror, I was thinkin’ I was just a common egret. Well, I ain’t no relative of a heron, I reckon.

After getting my 23andMe results back, I just want to shout out loud, “I’m a swan!” But I have a feeling everyone knows that already.

(Putting spectacles back on and looking closely at the report again.)

Albeit, I’m not too happy about my connection with the geese, ok. I could have done without that info.

“Run from what’s comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. I have tried prudent planning long enough. From now on, I’ll be mad.” ~ Rumi

Thoughts, Tuesday, January 31st, 2023

~ Pre-Family Photo…

Your very own pre-family photo taken with the ultrasound – of the future family member – with anyone, or anything you want, photoshopped into the picture/ultrasound. Get your family photos earlier than ever… while you still have control!


Regular – Family photo with family members photoshopped around the fetus.

Single Mother – Mother holding fetus while carrying the fetus in the womb.

Hanging out – Any person you want, photoshopped in with an arm draped around the fetus – just hanging out.

Spring Break – Photoshopped with the beach in the background, with people puking off to the side.

First Drink – Brought upon by the last idea of the spring break photo. Think nationality – Irish/Guinness, Italian/Wine, Yemeni/Raisin Beverage.

Christmas – Family Christmas photo of the fetus with the family with Santa hats on all, or the fetus on Santa’s lap!

First steps – Fetus taking its first steps.

*We pride ourselves in making the fetus look much more noticeable as a potential human. Just bring the ultrasound, and we’ll create the experience.

The Rockland Lake State Park Underwater Breath Holding Competition is underway. Coconut, the swan in the background, really diggin’ deep, remains undefeated for 50 years. Although, there’s a good chance it’s not her out there, given a swan’s lifespan and all. But it looks like Coconut, especially from this angle. Regardless, the tension and stakes are still high. You can really feel it in the air.

“The purpose of life, after all, is to live it; to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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