Comedy, Soul, Surf, Photography, Life in Running
Friday, January 13th, 2023 "The hotel I'm staying in has no 13th floor 'cause of superstition. But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. What room are you in… 1401? No, you're not! If you jump out that window, you will die earlier." ~ Mitch Hedberg When life hands you... Continue Reading →
A loan? Sure. I'll grant you this advance. Just one solitary request, you give me your arms. The strap-ons... "What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be." ~ Ellen Burstyn Thoughts, Tuesday, January 3rd, 2023 ~ Strap-on Muscular Arms (Infomercial) For women and men: a self-protection device to deter predators.... Continue Reading →
Friday, December 30th, 2022 "Never regret anything that made you smile." ~ Mark Twain I'm reading your future; your tea steam patterns show... a snail and a gecko. Does this mean anything to you? "Hey, remember when I said, "The sausages look done"...?That was about 20 minutes ago. Rudolph, tired of spotting Santa all afternoon,... Continue Reading →
Seven tea flavors for your birthday cake, dad! We thought you'd love a peppermint, fennel, dandelion, hibiscus, rooibos, earl grey, and orange peel desert to celebrate turning 70. Yay! What a festive month this is, the holidays, sure, and you turning 70 and celebrating your 50th anniversary with mom. I guess you got married when... Continue Reading →
His ex stink'd. In all fairness, she is a fishmonger. She sells fishtails and smells like farts from whales. It's not that bad if your sense of smell is dead and gone forever. “As the evening sky faded from a salmon color to a sort of flint gray, I thought back to the salmon I... Continue Reading →
Friday, December 2nd, 2022 "Follow your inner moonlight; don’t hide the madness." ~ Allen Ginsberg "Bob's going to be mad at you, girl." "I need this vacation, Verne. I just can't listen to Bob go on and on right now. And that toothpick in his mouth... I just want to push it in. Please, just... Continue Reading →
Friday, November 18th, 2022 “Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” ~ Kevin James "I'm having the best month of my life! Everyone's feeding me, stuffing me, keeping me free from the dogs... I don't know what's going on, and you know what? I don't want to know. I'm done questioning things.... Continue Reading →
Reap, hose, then reap again. It's Fall - reap until you sleep, reap only what you want to keep, and hose away anything gross, especially if it gets too close. Why are you relaxing? Get reapin'! "The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light. If only we’re brave enough to... Continue Reading →
"Snickers' knee?" "Most certainly. You have a textbook case of what we doctors call 'Snickers' knee'. You see, the constant bumping into, bashing about with, and falling onto - your knees - has given them that uneven nutty look. Couple that with suntanning in a bent knee position, which has darkened the outside layers into... Continue Reading →
Friday, September 23rd, 2022 "Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened, and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting." ~ Keith Richards From the inside: "Keep poking!!" I made a pact when I opened my place, and to this day, every... Continue Reading →
Kim Considine 