the·o·ry

There he is! What's that? Oh, it's just something he does, hiding from me fortnightly. Yep... every two weeks he's blending in with the furniture, camouflaging himself out back or masked inside somewhere he ought not to be. Why? It's his idea, thinking it will bring us closer together. Do I enjoy it? Nope, on... Continue Reading →

mul·ti·tude

Malt it, dude! There are a large number of us out here, man, and we all want malted shakes! Ok? What do you mean this isn't a Malt Shop? What do you mean this isn't 1950? What do you mean this is a proctologist's office? So... no malt? “An opening line should invite the reader... Continue Reading →

stal·wart

Stall, wart, grow no more! Thine eyes, no wait, my eyes! And to that hardworking hair growing out of you, wart, I curse every bit of it! You've been burned time and again - reliable as ever you return. Do not expand, invade, or grow offspring. Just stall, wart, stall! Thank you, thank you. Ode... Continue Reading →

a·swarm

Is your ass warm? Mine is! I've got pockets overflowing with roasted, toasted, chewy chestnuts. (Reaching in...) It’s crowded down there; everything's moving around as I walk. Oh my gosh, where're my manners? Want one? “Do anything, but let it produce joy.” ~ Walt Whitman Thoughts, Tuesday, October 25th, 2022 You have never let me... Continue Reading →

re·pose

Reap, hose, then reap again. It's Fall - reap until you sleep, reap only what you want to keep, and hose away anything gross, especially if it gets too close. Why are you relaxing? Get reapin'! "The new dawn blooms as we free it. For there is always light. If only we’re brave enough to... Continue Reading →

rev·​er·​en·​tial·ly

The Reverend Chili Cook-Off is about to begin! You've seen them at church, they're a part of your clergy, and now you can taste your eminence's beans and get a whiff of all that essence! It's chili you can respect, but will it honor your large intestines? Let's find out!! “Chili represents your three stages... Continue Reading →

de·i·ty

De ity bity spider crawled up the ... what? It's itsy bitsy? Ok, your highness. Now, follow my fingers, supreme being, follow my fingers up the water spout. De itsy bitsy spider ... “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw Thoughts, Tuesday, September 27th, 2022 ~ Race Bibs... Continue Reading →

es·chew

A shoo! Bless me, oh heavens. I've been deliberately abstaining from yellow raisins because they make me sneeze. But sometimes I tempt fate and a, a... a shoo! Ah. Put me in a sneezing contest, feed me just one yellow raisin, and I'm a shoo-in for winning. “Never underestimate the power of a shoe.” ~... Continue Reading →

Photo Friday

Friday, September 9th, 2022 “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald "Hey, have you heard anything from Dunkin'?" Some people accidentally blink in photos. I look the other way. I iron everything all at once. Game changer. Take the Blue Ridge where my mother was shot?... Continue Reading →

as·suage

I'll have an ... a sauge. One sauge, please. Sausage?? No, just regular. That should satisfy. Thank you! "It is wonderful how words generate ideas!" ~ Anne Sullivan (Helen Keller’s teacher) Thoughts, Tuesday, August 16th, 2022 To the person who told me that Nope wasn't scary... 😡 Nope... Did I make it through the whole... Continue Reading →

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