Things I’ve Learned…

Sort of…

(Fingernail Polish Can Fix A Car)

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“I didn’t do it. Hey, you want to go do something?” ~ Kim Considine

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Tuesday, April 4th, 2023

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Fingernail Polish Can Fix A Car

&

Pebbles and Stones May Mend a Fence

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Boom!  We dropped to the floor…

It was really late.  We had just pulled up into the driveway and parked.  Hannah and I entered the house through the backdoor.  The home, within, was black as the night. 

Oooh. 

The dining room was faintly lit by the glow of a street lamp peering in. 

We were alone. 

Hannah locked the door behind us then we heard a shot… bam!  It crackled.  

It pierced our eardrums – we reached out for each other and screamed. 

I dropped and rolled.  

Hannah kicked me as she ran to the window. 

“Did you hear that?”  I whispered.

I saw an outline of Hannah’s curly-framed head, then closed my eyes tightly, “What is it?”

“Shhhh!” She shushed way too loudly.

A moment of stillness.

“I think it came from my bedroom,” Hannah said.

“Oh, God.  Don’t leave me, Hannah.” I lay there, afraid to look and to not look. 

Hannah darted for her room. 

Crap.

I army-crawled my way through the dark with my eyes shut, making it into her hallway.  I squinted one eye partially open.  I saw her curls again. 

“What is it?” This time I used a real whisper.  Please only let Hannah hear me.

“I don’t know,” she whispered back too loudly.

Then she shouted, “Kim, come here!”

“Shhhh.” I shushed quietly, as it should be done, as I started freaking out. 

I closed my eyes and hummed to myself as I made my way over to her. I blinked open my eyes and looked up. She was peering out her window and laughing. 

“What the hell Hannah?” I said, closing my eyes tightly again. 

Then she abruptly turned on her bedroom lights.  Full blast.

Holding onto the carpet in mid-crawl, I looked up at her with no pupils and lingered.

“Come here!” She yammered.

I hesitantly rolled my way up and met her at the window.  We looked out into the creepy, quiet, dark night. 

Oooh.

The car had rolled backward down the barely slanted driveway and slammed into the neighbor’s fence.

We looked at each other for a second, then ran out.  We couldn’t help but laugh with relief… until we saw the fence and the back of the car. 

We called for backup.

A few friends came over.  It was around 2 am, let’s say.  Let’s also note that none of the friends we enlisted knew how to fix a car or a fence. 

“What happened?” They, of course, asked upon arriving.

Hannah determined that the parking brake must not have been turned on.  I agreed wholeheartedly.

We collectively focused on one repair at a time.  The fence somehow seemed the easiest.  It had to be put back together before the neighbors awoke. 

First, the car had to be removed from the fence.  As Hannah quietly pulled it back into the driveway, I stood in the alley and watched a part of the fence go with it.  When she got out, I pointed to it.

She brought it over, and we added it to the rest of the fence, but only with our hands.  We needed glue or something glutinous. Pieces were definitely missing, and it was really, really dark.

Oooh.

“Man! I bet there are more fence pieces on the other side.” Hannah said as she looked at me.

“Man!” I said.

So we wedged the fence piece that we peeled off the car into the ground, but it was about a foot short of reaching where it had detached from.

All of us worked together to find something that would fill the gap. We found rocks. More like an assortment of pebbles, we turned them into a mountain – stacked them up, then stuck the one piece of fence we had into it – to reach the remaining hanging fence portion.

That should work. 

“Thanks, guys. We owe you.”

Next, we assessed the car damage. Not too bad now that the fence was removed.  Just a few major scratches. 

None of us had car paint.  Hannah did, however, have red fingernail polish. At night, the color matched perfectly.  Deep red.  Hannah painted the car while we sat around talking.  We blew on it for a while before applying a few more coats.  Problem solved.  We went to bed.  

I avoided looking at that part of the car from then on.

Not really. I had to look, but it wasn’t that obvious unless you knew about it. No, it was totally obvious. Though over time, I think we forgot about it.

I don’t remember how or if her mom ever found out – or what they said when she turned it in – it was a lease – but we kinda fixed it. As far as the fence, we saw that stack of pebbles remain until it fell, and then they demolished that whole section of homes and built condos. Probably because the fence looked terrible!

What I Learned That Night?

Fingernail polish is paint. That’s why we say, “I’m getting my nails painted.” Also, neighbors can be cool, clueless, or both, and it doesn’t matter anyway because they’re getting booted out and their homes blasted because everyone loves living in condo communities. Oh, and the emergency brake… use it!

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“I’ve driven ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn’t say a lot for me, but it really doesn’t say a lot for the emergency brake.” ~ Mitch Hedberg

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✌🏻