“Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow.” ~ William Shakespeare, “Romeo and Juliet”
I’m going to start using “morrow” from now on. “Bye! See you morrow!”
I like it; it saves time and rolls right off the lips – morrow. “What am I doing morrow? I don’t even know what I’m doing day.”
(raspy voice) Want to hear the tale I’m about to tell? Well, sit on a stump, chump (cough, side spit) because this story may leave you shaking, quaking, and needin’ fresh pants.
Yeah… I can’ts predict I could get carried away and go off-script, but I am a pumpkin after all. So I ain’t equipped to deliver such precise detail.
There it is, warning and all, this yarning… may even make you wail, become pale, and pull my tail. Don’t! Okay then, let us begin before you decide to bail. (side spit)
“It was All Hallow’s Eve, many, well, two years ago… Silvia, the cruelest, meanest, and dare I say, stinkiest ghost in all of Brooklyn (halitosis) let out the most ear-splittin’ scream that if you heard it, it would haunt your every dream.”“It was Stan, the little Spider-man she spotted. He was new in town and had just arrived that day, plodded in with his weary legs. Stan was just out makin’ webs, (cough, side spit) ain’t doin’ harm, just livin’, lovin’, wantin’ to make new friends, and that’s how this story begins.”“Silvia’s shatterin’ scream was so extreme, it awoke, annoyed, and instantly sent the ghosts and ghouls in tears of fury. Little did they know, it was because of somethin’ so little and furry.”
“Pete and Repeat heard the terrifyin’ call and came off the wall and stood an extra inch tall. Pete exclaimed somethin’ no kiddies should ever hear (I thought it funny and laughed in my tummy) and Repeat, repeated Pete, not once, but twice, then pulled his Achilles and took a great fall.” (cough, cough)
“Now Jerry… Jerry, well, what you have to understand is that he had just had plastic surgery. It was supposed to be a secret, but all the spirits knew. Anywho, he was in recovery, sent home for much-needed rest. He heard the hurly-burly, got up from his nap, and his stitches fell out prematurely. From that point on, Jerry would be called ‘girlie’ for enhancing his lips, which fell off, and the cinching of his hips. I thought it all looked nice either way, I say.” (side spit)
“Then Shelly, out on a date with Skelly, her other guy, saw Stan swing by. Both let out a ridiculous cry. All Stan did was say, ‘Hi.” This caused a commotion, and they were caught in their lie.”“It wasn’t his fault. He’s a nice spider, but… you know, he’s also a biter.” “Skelly’s still blurry – never recovered – by the way. Ok.” (phlegm noises, no spitting)
“This door has been closed since Stan scampered across the entrance that night. Some say the folks here come and go through the window. Not telling you where I got my info. But these people are permanently scarred. Never see them playin’ in their yard.” (ear scratch)
“Stan, the friendly little Spider-man, tried to hide. He crawled inside a web, but it was Patricia’s mouth instead! Oh, that one got me chucklin’, especially after she sucked him in, started to spin, spit him out, then he landed on the witch’s chin!” (coughing fit)
“The witch flicked him off and sent a curse that missed the spider but nailed a passerby named Mr. Snyder. I’m talkin’ wrong place, wrong face, you should see that guy… but you won’t cause he ain’t ever gonna draw nigh. Never to be seen again. I think he moved to Cheyenne.” “Stan went back to his bed. In one hour, he was already well-known, a real celeb.”“As an unwanted fella. His joy for the new town began to ebb. Especially after Ed threw a bunch of eggs at his head.”
“Steve wasn’t nice to the spider either. He tried feeding him to a beaver.”
“Even Rory the Rat saw the spider, pumped some iron, and was ready for combat.”
“Sasha and her crew all gave him a loud ‘boo’!”“He sat there, still.” (raspy sigh)“Yet they continued, too, the whole crew all involved in the coup. It was an ugly view, not a nice thing to do, no matter whose eyes you’re lookin’ through.”
“Yoda was actually on vacation, and I’d like to believe a conversation with the spider he would have had. A least. Cause Yoda’s friendly to all, a beauty or a beast.”
“Then another shout rang through the night.” “Laurel was takin’ a bath, and somethin’ caused her to scratch and her body, it did detach. She looked down and was not expecting this plight, saw Stan crawlin’ around her femur.”“Oh, lol, Laurel is a screamer!”
“The rest of the evening grew bleaker and bleaker. But that was two years ago now. Since then, they’re all (mostly) friends because Stan is a seeker. Little by little, he won them over by imitating Presley and promising never again to climb on their shoulders or in their mouths or their baths… basically, staying within an arm’s distance. It helped that he had such a faithful persistence… a good friend he became. Long live Stan the little Spider-man. May everyone everywhere remember his wonderful deeds and his good name.” (cough, scratch, side spit, long sigh…)
“I have been bent and broken, but — I hope — into a better shape.” ~ Charles Dickens
You've got to get up every morning
With a smile on your face
And show the world all the love in your heart
Then people gonna treat you better
You're gonna find, yes you will
That you're beautiful, as you feel
Beautiful by Carole King onSpotify/YouTube
Also on the soundtrack to the movie: Our Idiot Brother
Friday, December 19th, 2025 “Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche “To kindness and love, the things we need most!” ~ Grinch I’ve been looking for a soundThat makes my heart singBeen looking for a melodyThat makes the church bells ringNot looking for the fameOr the…
Friday, December 12th, 2025 “I’m afraid I’m an incorrigible life-lover, life-wonderer, and adventurer.” ~ Edith Wharton “Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt You ask me if there’ll come a timeWhen I grow tired of youNever,…
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“It’s possible that one of the reasons you got on the path of mastery was to look good. But to learn something new of any significance, you have to be willing to look foolish.” ~ George Leonard
“What did I forget to bring home… what is it, what is it?”“He left me at the playground again.”“Dang it! I hate this feeling!”
Kim Considine 
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