Things I’ve Learned…

Sort of…

(DRIVING – Part IV)

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“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” ~ Earl Wilson

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Tuesday, March 7th, 2023

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How To Not Get Asked To Drive

~ Ever ~

(Part 1, Part II, Part III)

Part IV…

A Month Later…

I was driving to work and needed to make a pitstop. Unfortunately, I drove our stick-shift car, which I called Stick-Shit, and pulled into a space that necessitated backing out. I knew that would be an issue – later, but that was later.  

I parked. Jumped out. Ran into the store, and when I came back outside, it was later – later was now. It was time to figure out the imaginary reverse mode.

And I was already late for work…

Naturally, for the life of me, the stick would not shift into reverse. I tried until the car stalled a few times, and then it made the annoying sound of its last putter, which I knew really, really well. 

A lady, who had parked next to me, came out of the store and noticed my frenetic movements as I sat in the car trying to rock it backward. She approached me cautiously as if I was in danger to myself. I explained my situation, and she laughed and offered to drive me to work since the mall was on her way. 

“Why not?! Thanks.” I was so relieved.

Later that night, with about 25 minutes left at work. I called my mom.

“Hi Kim, how’s work?”

“Fun, I just re-refolded folded turtlenecks for the last 2 hours.”

“Well, as long as you’re behaving, I’m proud of you,” my mom said sincerely.  

“There’s a warm feeling spreading across my chest. By the way, can you pick me up? I’ll be ready if you leave now.”

“Why do you need a ride?” (Pause) “What did you do to the car?”

“The car?” 

“Yes, the car! The whole family heard you peel out of the driveway. What happened to it?”

“I did drive it, just not to work. Actually, we can pick it up on the way home if you want.”

(Silence)

“Mom? Hey, I still need that ride.”

There are moments when I feel like I’m talking to myself.

(A deep sigh) “Kim, how did you get to work, and where’s the car?”

“Mom, great questions. A really nice lady brought me to work, and the car is safely parked, in the front row, at Walgreens. I don’t mind if you want to swing by on the way home. You can back it out and drive it, and I’ll follow.”

Later that week…

“No! I curse this car!”

I was stuck in the parking lot outside of work. Someone parked in front of me in a spot I swore wasn’t a spot. 

I was in Stick-Shit again, and it failed to move backward again. I had to ask someone to back it out for me… again.  

I scanned the parking lot. 

Finally, a gigantic scary-looking man came near my car, so I got out and asked him. 

He laughed and helped me. I thanked him and sped away, in increments, as I shifted.

I got home in the same car this time.

…

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(Stay tuned for a short series from a book I’m writing called, “Stuff I’ve Learned – Sort of.” We’ll continue with more driving experiences and lessons next week. This could save your life. Could.)

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“While on a ladder, never step back to admire your work.”~ Safety Advice

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♥️

P.S. Some of my older posts were reposted yesterday during a WordPress plan change. I’ve been looking into it, turns out this type of occurrence is called ‘Dang it.’

✌🏻