Things I’ve Learned…

Sort of…

(DRIVING – Part I)

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine’.” ~ Tommy Cooper

Thoughts, Tuesday, February 14th, 2023

How To Not Get Asked To Drive

~ Ever ~

“Kim, Wake up!”

I peel my head from the steering wheel and rub the indent on my forehead, “Great class, see you tomorrow.”  

Driver’s Ed was just ok. At home, it wasn’t much better.

My first permit experience…

My mom ran out of the car as soon as I pulled into the driveway, clutching her chest.

“Yeah, ok… I’ll get the bags!” I yelled. 

Later at dinner.

“So, Kim, mom says she’s finished giving you driving lessons,” dad says while chuckling.

“What?” I ask in shock. Looking at mom.

“We’ve only had one lesson,” I said, still shocked.

My mom’s jaw clenched, then it looked like she was trying to say something. I heard nothing. I saw a tear.

“Mom! You’re making me feel weird. What, why? Because of the right-on-red thing? You said, ‘go right on red’!”

In a very frail voice, my mom replied, “I said you can turn right on red, not to turn on red.”

“Mom, when I’m behind the wheel, I don’t have time for semantics. The light was red, and you said I could turn, so I did.”

My mom looks down at her plate and then at my dad. I saw her lower lip quiver.  She gathered her strength and said, “I told her it was an option when the time was right. Before I could stop her, we were completely thrown into oncoming traffic.” Then she looked back down as if in prayer. 

“Well, all I heard was ‘turn right on red.’ Next thing I know, half of the town is racing behind me. Meanwhile, you’re screaming, gripping the dashboard and the door like you’re holding on and getting ready to jump out at the same time.”


Dad broke it up, “Well, Kim, it sounds like I’m next in line. Let’s go out tomorrow and see if we can work out some of those kinks.”

The next day we sat in the car talking about driving. The keys remained in my dad’s pocket. 

A month later…

Grandma and grandpa travel down from PA to visit for the week. After an hour of visiting…

“Hey, who wants to run an errand with me?” I looked at my grandpa, knowing he’d bite.

“That’s right, you have your permit now. Sounds like fun. Let’s go, Giles!” exclaimed grandpa, with no sarcasm. 

I saw the quick glances my parents gave each other. 

“Does anyone else want to come along?” my grandpa asked, still fresh and smiling.

Everyone in the room began cleaning, even my grandma.

“Fine, we’ll be back soon,” I said. We skip to the car.

Twenty minutes later…

I pull back into the driveway, and gramps tumbles out of the car, enters the house, and beelines it straight to the bathroom.

He resurfaces an hour later…

*Side note: I got my first driver’s license on April Fool’s. Ha… fools.

(Stay tuned for a short series from a book I’m writing called, “Stuff I’ve Learned – Sort of.” We’ll continue with more driving experiences and lessons next week. This could save your life. Could.)

“In case I forget to tell you later – I had a really good time tonight.” ~ Pretty Woman

Happy Valentine’s Day to You! ♥️

…And to my parents, if they’re still reading this far down… 😳

6 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned…

Add yours

  1. I’m with your mom on this one.
    Remember that time you got pulled over when I was visiting and you told the Police Officer you hadn’t been pulled over before (I now call BS!) but then he asked me if you had? Yeah, you remember. 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kim Marie I am just reading this and cracking up. LOL!!! You forgot to mention the semi truck (18 wheeler) barreling down the road when you pulled out of Lowe’s. 🤗🫠. Oh yes, the memories. Love You!! HBTY!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lol, Momma! I’ll add that into the book version – I think it has a nice ring to it – “my mom’s version” with your quote. Just know… there’s a whole lot more in this book and more parts to the driving… stay tuned.😉 Thanks, mom!! Heading out for a birthday run now. Talk in a bit. I love you so much!! I’ll take you for a drive next time I’m home.♥️


  4. Kim, teaching you to drive was a blast. As a side benefit I can now face any danger without so much as a wince or whimper . Incidentally, mom is progressing quite well in her psychotherapy. Happiest of Birthdays to you!! I love you!! Dad. 🥸🙏❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, so much fun we never had to leave the parking lot! Mom seems to be better, most days. Dad, I don’t mind driving you around when you’re in your 90’s. Just go to sleep knowing I’ll be your driver and cook. Getting ready for cake – call soon – thanks for making the same one. I love you, pops!!♥️🙏 🥸


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